"I'll bet she makes you wish you'd stopped at 5 sometimes..."

Yesterday while dropping Julian off at school, Brenya decided to get a little grumpy. She is Brenya, it's how she do. (Thanks Ryan, for introducing me to Lil' Wayne's annoying Mt. Dew commercial, lol.) She's a diva, she's a monsterkins. she's the baby spoiled by all before her. During her little grumble-grumble-roar, someone said to me, and I quote, "I'll bet she makes you wish you'd stopped at 5 sometimes..."  Whaaaa?? I must not have heard her right. I replied something like, "uhhhh, no..." but I couldn't quite wrap my head about what just was said to me, at least until it had time to sink in.

Here I am at today, after letting it steep all night, and I'm still just flabbergasted. Did someone really just ask me if my 3 year old's diva-esque attitude makes me wish she were never born? Like, really?? I mean, I'm just speechless. Well, no I'm not, because I'm here to grumble-grumble-roar myself here on the internets, so I guess I'm more just lost, confused, left scratching my head.

I can't think of a time, even at any of my kids worst, that I wish I'd never had them. These people, they are the absolute loves of my life. I may have wanted to punch them in the nose while kicking them in the shins, but I can't think of a time where I wish they'd never existed. Even at my worst, and when I'm really doubting myself and my abilities as momma to 6, I know that momma is exactly the job title I was meant to have.

My children are my everything. They are my reason to wake up in the morning, the reason I eat, sleep, breathe. Do I give people the impression that I hate my "job" as momma? I struggled with that a bit last night while tossing and turning, but no. I know I don't. Even when I'm aggravated, these munchkins can find a way to make me laugh, and then we're back on track. I will never make my children feel as I did growing  up. They are not mistakes, they are not regrets, and I will not have others thinking that either. I have worked very hard to make it known that my kids are meant to be here, and they are destined to great things. I love them more than anything else on this Earth....more than anything in the Universe....they are amazing people I will forever be indebted to.

They are people, after all, and in general people are prone to mistakes. People are not known for being amazing and pleasant 100% of the time. People are not always compassionate and caring, as noted from the little sentence that inspired this blog post today. People are not always enjoyable, so does that mean we should wish they never existed when the worst of them comes out? No....just no. I just fail to see how others can think that way.

I'm sure she thought she was just joking, and that I would find it funny, but I don't. I just can't imagine asking someone if they wished their child(ren) were never born for any reason. I know sometimes I say things, and I look back and think, "dummy, dummy, dummy! What were you thinking?!" so, I wonder if maybe she did the same yesterday when she walked away with her grandson... Maybe, maybe not, however it stuck with me. We definitely need to think of exactly what we're saying before we say it. Words are not easily forgotten, even when seemingly innocently said.

At this moment, there is a woman sitting somewhere, crying at yet another negative pregnancy test. There's a mother missing her 13 year old son who recently lost his battle to cancer. There's a father out there who is trying to see his 3 year old son hanging on to his life after another man beat him. I try desperately to not take what I have for granted. Hug your loved ones a little closer, eh?

 I feel like I'm not accurately saying what I want to say, and how I want to say it, but I'm running out of time here, lol. I have to go and pick up my Juli-boy in a few minutes, and so I'm just going to publish this as is. Hopefully getting this out of my head, and onto electronic "paper" will help me go about my day with less ill-feelings.