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Friday, November 23, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
"I'll bet she makes you wish you'd stopped at 5 sometimes..."
Yesterday while dropping Julian off at school, Brenya decided to get a little grumpy. She is Brenya, it's how she do. (Thanks Ryan, for introducing me to Lil' Wayne's annoying Mt. Dew commercial, lol.) She's a diva, she's a monsterkins. she's the baby spoiled by all before her. During her little grumble-grumble-roar, someone said to me, and I quote, "I'll bet she makes you wish you'd stopped at 5 sometimes..." Whaaaa?? I must not have heard her right. I replied something like, "uhhhh, no..." but I couldn't quite wrap my head about what just was said to me, at least until it had time to sink in.
Here I am at today, after letting it steep all night, and I'm still just flabbergasted. Did someone really just ask me if my 3 year old's diva-esque attitude makes me wish she were never born? Like, really?? I mean, I'm just speechless. Well, no I'm not, because I'm here to grumble-grumble-roar myself here on the internets, so I guess I'm more just lost, confused, left scratching my head.
I can't think of a time, even at any of my kids worst, that I wish I'd never had them. These people, they are the absolute loves of my life. I may have wanted to punch them in the nose while kicking them in the shins, but I can't think of a time where I wish they'd never existed. Even at my worst, and when I'm really doubting myself and my abilities as momma to 6, I know that momma is exactly the job title I was meant to have.
My children are my everything. They are my reason to wake up in the morning, the reason I eat, sleep, breathe. Do I give people the impression that I hate my "job" as momma? I struggled with that a bit last night while tossing and turning, but no. I know I don't. Even when I'm aggravated, these munchkins can find a way to make me laugh, and then we're back on track. I will never make my children feel as I did growing up. They are not mistakes, they are not regrets, and I will not have others thinking that either. I have worked very hard to make it known that my kids are meant to be here, and they are destined to great things. I love them more than anything else on this Earth....more than anything in the Universe....they are amazing people I will forever be indebted to.
They are people, after all, and in general people are prone to mistakes. People are not known for being amazing and pleasant 100% of the time. People are not always compassionate and caring, as noted from the little sentence that inspired this blog post today. People are not always enjoyable, so does that mean we should wish they never existed when the worst of them comes out? No....just no. I just fail to see how others can think that way.
I'm sure she thought she was just joking, and that I would find it funny, but I don't. I just can't imagine asking someone if they wished their child(ren) were never born for any reason. I know sometimes I say things, and I look back and think, "dummy, dummy, dummy! What were you thinking?!" so, I wonder if maybe she did the same yesterday when she walked away with her grandson... Maybe, maybe not, however it stuck with me. We definitely need to think of exactly what we're saying before we say it. Words are not easily forgotten, even when seemingly innocently said.
At this moment, there is a woman sitting somewhere, crying at yet another negative pregnancy test. There's a mother missing her 13 year old son who recently lost his battle to cancer. There's a father out there who is trying to see his 3 year old son hanging on to his life after another man beat him. I try desperately to not take what I have for granted. Hug your loved ones a little closer, eh?
I feel like I'm not accurately saying what I want to say, and how I want to say it, but I'm running out of time here, lol. I have to go and pick up my Juli-boy in a few minutes, and so I'm just going to publish this as is. Hopefully getting this out of my head, and onto electronic "paper" will help me go about my day with less ill-feelings.
Here I am at today, after letting it steep all night, and I'm still just flabbergasted. Did someone really just ask me if my 3 year old's diva-esque attitude makes me wish she were never born? Like, really?? I mean, I'm just speechless. Well, no I'm not, because I'm here to grumble-grumble-roar myself here on the internets, so I guess I'm more just lost, confused, left scratching my head.
I can't think of a time, even at any of my kids worst, that I wish I'd never had them. These people, they are the absolute loves of my life. I may have wanted to punch them in the nose while kicking them in the shins, but I can't think of a time where I wish they'd never existed. Even at my worst, and when I'm really doubting myself and my abilities as momma to 6, I know that momma is exactly the job title I was meant to have.
My children are my everything. They are my reason to wake up in the morning, the reason I eat, sleep, breathe. Do I give people the impression that I hate my "job" as momma? I struggled with that a bit last night while tossing and turning, but no. I know I don't. Even when I'm aggravated, these munchkins can find a way to make me laugh, and then we're back on track. I will never make my children feel as I did growing up. They are not mistakes, they are not regrets, and I will not have others thinking that either. I have worked very hard to make it known that my kids are meant to be here, and they are destined to great things. I love them more than anything else on this Earth....more than anything in the Universe....they are amazing people I will forever be indebted to.
They are people, after all, and in general people are prone to mistakes. People are not known for being amazing and pleasant 100% of the time. People are not always compassionate and caring, as noted from the little sentence that inspired this blog post today. People are not always enjoyable, so does that mean we should wish they never existed when the worst of them comes out? No....just no. I just fail to see how others can think that way.
I'm sure she thought she was just joking, and that I would find it funny, but I don't. I just can't imagine asking someone if they wished their child(ren) were never born for any reason. I know sometimes I say things, and I look back and think, "dummy, dummy, dummy! What were you thinking?!" so, I wonder if maybe she did the same yesterday when she walked away with her grandson... Maybe, maybe not, however it stuck with me. We definitely need to think of exactly what we're saying before we say it. Words are not easily forgotten, even when seemingly innocently said.
At this moment, there is a woman sitting somewhere, crying at yet another negative pregnancy test. There's a mother missing her 13 year old son who recently lost his battle to cancer. There's a father out there who is trying to see his 3 year old son hanging on to his life after another man beat him. I try desperately to not take what I have for granted. Hug your loved ones a little closer, eh?
I feel like I'm not accurately saying what I want to say, and how I want to say it, but I'm running out of time here, lol. I have to go and pick up my Juli-boy in a few minutes, and so I'm just going to publish this as is. Hopefully getting this out of my head, and onto electronic "paper" will help me go about my day with less ill-feelings.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Gotta Be More Positive, Peeps!! :)
Staying away from the hatred from both sides right now. I don't want to be any part of the bragging and na-na-na-booboo'ing, and I don't want to be any part of the complaining and crying that will get me no where.
ON that note, today I had some running around to do, and I got to see both of my regular cashiers at both stores I went to (Wal*Mart and Meijer). They are my regulars for a reason, I will purposefully stand in a line 40 minutes long just to have them check me out. They are the bomb-diggity, as someone my age might think were *cool* to say. This may get wordy, but the happiness and positivity is assuredly worth it! xoxo
Cashier #1 (and I'm so awful at names, I try not to be, and I try hard, but I sucketh) was training a newbie today. She calls Bennie her "cuter" twin, lol. If you had seen the pics I posted on facebook earlier, you'll know Bennie is SpiderGirl today, because that just makes her day..and anything that makes the day run smoother, amiright? She was so pleased to see Bennie being her typical diva self, she ran off for a second to grab she and Bennie matching suckers, lol. She made Bennie's day with all the doting on and attention giving a diva monster-child desires. ;) #1 and her trainee thanked Bennie and I for our patience and understanding that comes with the training process. :)
Cashier #2 (aka, Kim (who I can remember her name, since it's the same as my beloved Aunt Kim who passed away 7.5 years ago, and shares the same sort of "love everybody" attitude she did)) was being her typical love-everyone self. While beeping my things off the conveyor belt, she hears 2 co-workers having a convo that went something like:
#1) "I have something for you!"
#2) "Oh yeah?"
#1) "It's a box, about 2 lbs, I need you to do..." (I can't remember word for word, but essentially, it was a job for her to do, not something *for* her)
#2) "Oh, you had me going for a minute! I thought someone had actually thought of me!"
both walk away chatting....
Kim then says something about how funny #2 (remember, I'm AWFUL with names) is, and what a nice lady she is. (I was her last customer before break) Then she says, "I think after I'm finished with my lunch, I'm going to get #2 a little something to let her know I'm thinking of her. I just hate to think that someone thinks that no one is thinking of them."
Cue tears.
She sees me with tears just-a-wellin' up, and I tell her that she has got to be one of the sweetest people I've ever met, and how she just made my day! I mean, seriously! She tells me to stop crying, because now I have her crying too, and we're both a sobbing mess. She tells me how much she loves people, and how much she loves knowing that she made someone smile that day...and I mean, she's just a wonderful person. Happy, positive, and selfless. After a few moments to suck it up, we're back to normal conversation on why I'm making Thanksgiving dinner 2 weeks before Thanksgiving (because we go to a big family get together where everyone pitches in a dish to pass, and I like to cook A LOT...and to prove to myself that I CAN make a huge Thanksgiving feast on my own...that's why! LOL), and she helps me put the last of my things into my cart. After setting the bag in my cart, she walks around and gives me this huge hug, tells me "God bless you sister, YOU made MY day." Now we're both bawling again!
Oh, how I wish there were more Cashier #1's and Kim's in the world... I hope that I can be like them one day. I want to make someone smile for the day, I want to be helpful, I strive to be the positive, loving, and caring people they are. They are cashiers I spend maybe 15 minutes with a week, and they just brighten my day. I strive to be someone who after spending merely 10-15 minutes with, I leave said person with a new outlook on the day. You rock, ladies!! xoxo
ON that note, today I had some running around to do, and I got to see both of my regular cashiers at both stores I went to (Wal*Mart and Meijer). They are my regulars for a reason, I will purposefully stand in a line 40 minutes long just to have them check me out. They are the bomb-diggity, as someone my age might think were *cool* to say. This may get wordy, but the happiness and positivity is assuredly worth it! xoxo
Cashier #1 (and I'm so awful at names, I try not to be, and I try hard, but I sucketh) was training a newbie today. She calls Bennie her "cuter" twin, lol. If you had seen the pics I posted on facebook earlier, you'll know Bennie is SpiderGirl today, because that just makes her day..and anything that makes the day run smoother, amiright? She was so pleased to see Bennie being her typical diva self, she ran off for a second to grab she and Bennie matching suckers, lol. She made Bennie's day with all the doting on and attention giving a diva monster-child desires. ;) #1 and her trainee thanked Bennie and I for our patience and understanding that comes with the training process. :)
Cashier #2 (aka, Kim (who I can remember her name, since it's the same as my beloved Aunt Kim who passed away 7.5 years ago, and shares the same sort of "love everybody" attitude she did)) was being her typical love-everyone self. While beeping my things off the conveyor belt, she hears 2 co-workers having a convo that went something like:
#1) "I have something for you!"
#2) "Oh yeah?"
#1) "It's a box, about 2 lbs, I need you to do..." (I can't remember word for word, but essentially, it was a job for her to do, not something *for* her)
#2) "Oh, you had me going for a minute! I thought someone had actually thought of me!"
both walk away chatting....
Kim then says something about how funny #2 (remember, I'm AWFUL with names) is, and what a nice lady she is. (I was her last customer before break) Then she says, "I think after I'm finished with my lunch, I'm going to get #2 a little something to let her know I'm thinking of her. I just hate to think that someone thinks that no one is thinking of them."
Cue tears.
She sees me with tears just-a-wellin' up, and I tell her that she has got to be one of the sweetest people I've ever met, and how she just made my day! I mean, seriously! She tells me to stop crying, because now I have her crying too, and we're both a sobbing mess. She tells me how much she loves people, and how much she loves knowing that she made someone smile that day...and I mean, she's just a wonderful person. Happy, positive, and selfless. After a few moments to suck it up, we're back to normal conversation on why I'm making Thanksgiving dinner 2 weeks before Thanksgiving (because we go to a big family get together where everyone pitches in a dish to pass, and I like to cook A LOT...and to prove to myself that I CAN make a huge Thanksgiving feast on my own...that's why! LOL), and she helps me put the last of my things into my cart. After setting the bag in my cart, she walks around and gives me this huge hug, tells me "God bless you sister, YOU made MY day." Now we're both bawling again!
Oh, how I wish there were more Cashier #1's and Kim's in the world... I hope that I can be like them one day. I want to make someone smile for the day, I want to be helpful, I strive to be the positive, loving, and caring people they are. They are cashiers I spend maybe 15 minutes with a week, and they just brighten my day. I strive to be someone who after spending merely 10-15 minutes with, I leave said person with a new outlook on the day. You rock, ladies!! xoxo
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Planning a long road trip/family vacay for 8 people is simple, right?
Thinking of planning a long family vacation across country to Cali. We haven't been out there since we left in '06...and truthfully, if family wasn't out there I'd never go again... However, because family is out there, California it is. There are a couple peeps in particular we need to see, and I need to start planning and preparing and saving, saving, saving!
We're thinking of taking at least a couple of weeks to drive out, sight see, visit, and drive back, and we're thinking of doing so around spring break time, so the kids will only have to miss a week or so of school...possibly 2. That's one of the downsides to no longer homeschooling...trying to work it out with a school over why my kids will be absent for a week or more. Just...a lot on my mind, and a lot to prepare/plan for. Being OCD, I need to get everything organized exactly perfect...over and over again. And did I mention, planning? It will be awesome, though, and I'm grateful that we are at a point in our lives where we can start thinking about doing something like this. Ideally, it would be a couple years down the road. and there would be more income to save, but time is not always an option.
So, now I need to start checking out different sites, maps, hotels, sights to see, et c. so I can start getting deep down in the planning. It's going to be a wild ride, but I imagine a very memorable one for us all. Thinking of all the planning involved, I can honestly say that I'm grateful that we don't have any babies anymore. It's going to make packing a lot easier. It's also going to make traveling much nicer. It's always better to communicate with people by asking them what is wrong and hearing an actual form-words-from-their-mouth answer, than "WAHHHHHHH! WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"
Completely unrelated; the kids are back in school, and we're finally starting to get back into the groove of things. That means I should stop neglecting my blog so much! It was hard enough to (shamefully) even find my poor dusty ol' blog to make this post. And I'm feeling....well, like I don't like this post and all of it's redundancy right now, but I don't have time to perfect what I want to say and how. I just need to get back to the reason I started this thing: To get all I have to say off of facebook, out of my head when facebook just doesn't do it, and onto an online diary, lol. ;) Also, I should get my fat butt back onto the equally neglected treadmill. Yeah...I'll save all that shame and misery for another post on another day. ;)
We're thinking of taking at least a couple of weeks to drive out, sight see, visit, and drive back, and we're thinking of doing so around spring break time, so the kids will only have to miss a week or so of school...possibly 2. That's one of the downsides to no longer homeschooling...trying to work it out with a school over why my kids will be absent for a week or more. Just...a lot on my mind, and a lot to prepare/plan for. Being OCD, I need to get everything organized exactly perfect...over and over again. And did I mention, planning? It will be awesome, though, and I'm grateful that we are at a point in our lives where we can start thinking about doing something like this. Ideally, it would be a couple years down the road. and there would be more income to save, but time is not always an option.
So, now I need to start checking out different sites, maps, hotels, sights to see, et c. so I can start getting deep down in the planning. It's going to be a wild ride, but I imagine a very memorable one for us all. Thinking of all the planning involved, I can honestly say that I'm grateful that we don't have any babies anymore. It's going to make packing a lot easier. It's also going to make traveling much nicer. It's always better to communicate with people by asking them what is wrong and hearing an actual form-words-from-their-mouth answer, than "WAHHHHHHH! WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"
Completely unrelated; the kids are back in school, and we're finally starting to get back into the groove of things. That means I should stop neglecting my blog so much! It was hard enough to (shamefully) even find my poor dusty ol' blog to make this post. And I'm feeling....well, like I don't like this post and all of it's redundancy right now, but I don't have time to perfect what I want to say and how. I just need to get back to the reason I started this thing: To get all I have to say off of facebook, out of my head when facebook just doesn't do it, and onto an online diary, lol. ;) Also, I should get my fat butt back onto the equally neglected treadmill. Yeah...I'll save all that shame and misery for another post on another day. ;)
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Weight Loss Train: Derailed...
Yeah, thanks great flood of May 4....that was the beginning of that derailment. I was doing SO good. SO, SO good. I was down 33 pounds. Key word: Was. I'm now up 11. Depressing, let down, disappointed...check, check, and check.
Between the flood, and now full-time summer babysitting, there's been no running. Actually, there have been a few times I've ran, but it's been a complete self-loathing kind of running, and it's not exactly encouraging of doing it again. Logically, I know this, but it doesn't stop me. There's been very little exercise. I've been busy rebuilding our lives, and taking care of children. By the time the kids that aren't mine go home, I have NO will to do anything, except for eat dinner, send my kids to bed, and then tuck myself in.
Are you ready for the excuses? Yeah, me either, but they're there. I am a morning runner, I NEED to run in the morning, before doing anything else. It encourages me throughout the day. When I run 2, 3, 4, or more miles, and I see how hard I worked, how many calories I burned, it encourages me to REALLY think about all other actions throughout the day. I've ran a few times in the evening, after Ryan is home, after my part-time kiddos ;) go home, and it ends in profanity, and lots of name calling (directed at myself, of course...it's no one else's fault I decided to do this to myself again.) I tried to force myself to wake up a couple hours early to run/shower before my part-time kiddos come over, but I just can't...or won't I guess. While not running/not working out, I just give up...pop? The more I can guzzle, the better! Chocolate cake? Why stop there, where's the chocolate candy bars? Diabetes, apparently I lied, and apparently, I am hoping to meet you one day...
I've just given up. I don't know where to start again. How did I used to run, cook, and clean?? Because I feel like right now, I can run...or I can cook...or I can clean. Then I want to nap for a couple of days. Depression has sunk in, for sure, but I can usually just power through it. Not so right now. I can't stop thinking about how, even if I start up right now, right this very instant...had I never stopped, I'd be SO FREAKING CLOSE to my goal.Within 20 pounds, no doubt. Now I'm 55 pounds from that goal. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I realize I have to stop looking at it that way, but I just can't. I feel like I'm going to have to wait until the kids are back in school in September to get back at this, and that's probably true. Less of an excuse, more of a reality.
However, just because I can't get back to my hardcore workout routine, doesn't mean I need to be horking down on all of the chocolate and pop I can muster. I'd probably still be making at least a bit of progress, if I could just let my will power in a little bit to slap the crap out of me, and force me to fill up my water bottle, instead of opening a can of pop. I'd probably still make some progress, if I wouldn't go back for seconds, or if I'd not eat chocolate like it was going out of style, or if I did even 20 jumping jacks....if I did something. How do I get back there? I can't be angry about the flood anymore...it's been 2 months now, but how do I get back there?
Yeah, I don't know, either, but I have to figure it out. I'm not giving up, I refuse....I just need to get back to actually believing that again. It might not happen until September, BUT, I CAN make better decisions NOW. Water, smaller portions, a few jumping jacks here, a few crunches there. Accountability, peeps, I need it. I don't want to do this anymore, I want May 3rd back, and I need to realize it's NEVER going to happen...and learn to move forward from there. Sigh.
Okay, whine-fest over. I'm ready to start over... :)
Between the flood, and now full-time summer babysitting, there's been no running. Actually, there have been a few times I've ran, but it's been a complete self-loathing kind of running, and it's not exactly encouraging of doing it again. Logically, I know this, but it doesn't stop me. There's been very little exercise. I've been busy rebuilding our lives, and taking care of children. By the time the kids that aren't mine go home, I have NO will to do anything, except for eat dinner, send my kids to bed, and then tuck myself in.
Are you ready for the excuses? Yeah, me either, but they're there. I am a morning runner, I NEED to run in the morning, before doing anything else. It encourages me throughout the day. When I run 2, 3, 4, or more miles, and I see how hard I worked, how many calories I burned, it encourages me to REALLY think about all other actions throughout the day. I've ran a few times in the evening, after Ryan is home, after my part-time kiddos ;) go home, and it ends in profanity, and lots of name calling (directed at myself, of course...it's no one else's fault I decided to do this to myself again.) I tried to force myself to wake up a couple hours early to run/shower before my part-time kiddos come over, but I just can't...or won't I guess. While not running/not working out, I just give up...pop? The more I can guzzle, the better! Chocolate cake? Why stop there, where's the chocolate candy bars? Diabetes, apparently I lied, and apparently, I am hoping to meet you one day...
I've just given up. I don't know where to start again. How did I used to run, cook, and clean?? Because I feel like right now, I can run...or I can cook...or I can clean. Then I want to nap for a couple of days. Depression has sunk in, for sure, but I can usually just power through it. Not so right now. I can't stop thinking about how, even if I start up right now, right this very instant...had I never stopped, I'd be SO FREAKING CLOSE to my goal.Within 20 pounds, no doubt. Now I'm 55 pounds from that goal. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I realize I have to stop looking at it that way, but I just can't. I feel like I'm going to have to wait until the kids are back in school in September to get back at this, and that's probably true. Less of an excuse, more of a reality.
However, just because I can't get back to my hardcore workout routine, doesn't mean I need to be horking down on all of the chocolate and pop I can muster. I'd probably still be making at least a bit of progress, if I could just let my will power in a little bit to slap the crap out of me, and force me to fill up my water bottle, instead of opening a can of pop. I'd probably still make some progress, if I wouldn't go back for seconds, or if I'd not eat chocolate like it was going out of style, or if I did even 20 jumping jacks....if I did something. How do I get back there? I can't be angry about the flood anymore...it's been 2 months now, but how do I get back there?
Yeah, I don't know, either, but I have to figure it out. I'm not giving up, I refuse....I just need to get back to actually believing that again. It might not happen until September, BUT, I CAN make better decisions NOW. Water, smaller portions, a few jumping jacks here, a few crunches there. Accountability, peeps, I need it. I don't want to do this anymore, I want May 3rd back, and I need to realize it's NEVER going to happen...and learn to move forward from there. Sigh.
Okay, whine-fest over. I'm ready to start over... :)
Thursday, June 14, 2012
FEMA Says "NO" to Declaring A disaster
Sorry about the long break, between being busy, and a flood, my poor little blog got neglected.
The flood. Yeah.
The evening of May 3rd, we had a pretty nasty storm. A storm that kept going. And going. And going. I am a big chicken when it comes to anything but clear weather, so sleep was not happening. By 1:30, I'd given up on trying to sleep, and instead tried to watch TV in efforts to keep my eyes away from the lightening flashing through the window. The thunder was so loud though, there was no denying what mother nature was doing outside. Severe Thunderstorm Warnings were blaring across the screen, as well as Flash Flood and Ariel Flood Warnings. I didn't think much of it, we don't flood. Ever.
Or, so I thought. By 3:30am, Amelia and Aubrey started screaming for me, and thankfully I was awake, because I could barely hear them. The lamp in their room had fallen and spooked them. I made my way to the top of the stairs, looked down, and seen water starting to come in. I told them to hang tight for a minute, I was going to grab their dad and some towels, and I would be right back. Seriously, not even a solid minute later, we had returned, and forget the towels! They weren't going to help a thing at that point. The water was already at our ankles. We knew we were in trouble at that point. Ryan went to check on the sump pump, but that wasn't our problem...the water was coming in through the door like a waterfall on each side, and was starting to come through the windows.
There was no time to panic. Ryan grabbed one of the A's, I grabbed the other, once they were safely on the stairs, he went for Gabe, I went for Saphie. By this point, the water was already at our shins, and Ryan said the power had to get turned off from the breaker box. I told him we had to grab the kids mattresses first, and get them upstairs. He thought I was crazy, and that it wasn't likely their mattresses would even get wet, but not wanting to upset me, helped me grab them, and get them upstairs. I still don't know what made me think to grab their mattresses. Looking back, in the grand scheme of things....mattresses?! LOL. I guess divine intervention, because there is just no way we could have replaced them very quickly. I remember thinking, "Oh crap...this is bad. Very, very bad. What will give the kids some sort of normalcy during this? Beds and TV's are expensive! Beds and TV's it is!" Between their mattresses and their TV's, we had gathered all we could before he HAD to shut the power off downstairs.
It took somewhere around 15 minutes for over 3.5 feet of water to turn our lives upside down, and inside out. We lost almost everything downstairs. We live in a bi-level home. When you walk in the door, you either go up, or you go down. There is no living space at the door, just a landing and stairs. There are 3 bedrooms downstairs, 4 of the kids sleeping in those bedrooms. There's also a bathroom, and a laundry/utility/craft room. Did I mention that we've been remodeling that entire area since we moved in? We had JUST finished that bathroom, we had 2 sheets of drywall in Gabe's room that NEVER seen the wall, it was intended for remodeling the hallway from hell (the wall was textured in spikes...why someone would want that is beyond me, lol). It was just complete devastation.
However, we were all okay. Thank God for the falling lamp that woke up the girls, because otherwise, things could have been so much worse. The kids could have been electrocuted, or Amelia and Gabe could have drowned. We still have that lamp, I can't let it go. I call it our 'lifesaving lamp'. I can finally look at it without bursting into tears, so I think that's a step in the right direction. I mentioned on facebook about my inability to let it go, and friend suggested turning it into a flower pot of sorts. Something with meaning, without keeping it around as a broken, and filthy lamp. That's going to be in the works once we're finished rebuilding our lives.
We have had an outpouring of love, thoughts, prayers, and even some donations! How blessed are we?! People ask me, "Well, how do you stay so positive?" I don't feel like I'm being positive, just thankful and appreciative. Besides, being negative, and woe is me isn't helping anything. Why squander peoples positive thoughts and prayers on negative thoughts on my end? Why feel so woe is me, when people are doing their best to help us with whatever they can? Don't get me wrong, I've cried, I've been upset, but those are weak moments when I look at all we've lost, instead of all we've gained.
A friend called me and said to me, "As soon as that water recedes, call me! I'm going to wash all that clothing." Another friend took the kids and kept the preoccupied with fun instead of damage control, another friend who was also a flood victim dropped off a few supplies, and a gift card to help us replace some of our lost things, Ry's friends/co-workers came over and helped us finish demolishing everything downstairs, renting a dumpster for us, and more friends helped us buy building supplies, and even helped us put some of it in. That's only part of it! Just as important were all the kind words, all the prayers, all the positive thoughts, they kept us going day after day, especially in the beginning. The outpouring of love and support has been amazing and overwhelming. I'll never be able to show my gratitude in a million years. Thank you just doesn't seem like enough, you know? We've built stronger friendships, stronger relationships with our neighbors going through the same things, and even a better home.
While tearing the house apart, we were able to discover blessings in the flood. There was a big bees nest in Gabe's wall, there were some studs that needed to be replaced throughout the 1st level, there were 2 nails driven through an electrical wire running through the studs (when Aubrey went to pull the nails out of the stud, there was a HUGE flash, and a zapping that scared us all!), things that we would have not known otherwise until it was too late. A flood? We can recover from the flood. We were blessed enough that only the 1st level of the house was affected, and we could still live in it. Things could have been so much worse! It could have been a tornado that just devastated our neighborhood, possibly taking lives. It could have been a fire caused by those nails through the wires, and we could have lost the entire house...and possibly lives. Instead, it was just 3.5 feet of water that did enough damage to shake up our lives, but not enough to destroy it. Have I mentioned yet just how blessed we feel?
Tomorrow will be 6 weeks since this happened. That's hard to believe! 6 weeks feels like so long, and so short, all at the same time. It seems like just yesterday we were wading around hip deep in water in the road, trying to help our neighbors, standing around in shock, not quite knowing how to grasp what was happening. Then again, in that amount of time, we have drywalled all 3 kids bedrooms, most of the bathroom, part of the stairwell, and we have the laundry room, and a closet to finish. We just need to finish putting up mud, sanding, and painting, and we'll be about as far as we can go for now. We were lucky enough to find huge carpet remnants for cheaper than a rug, for all of the kids bedrooms. We won't be able to afford $1500 for new carpet and padding anytime soon, but those remnants give the kids a sense of normalcy. They're all sleeping down there, and are no longer crammed into one bedroom...6 kids in 1 bedroom got the best of us all, lol. Now they have some room to stretch and call their own. They'll just shuffle around when it comes time to fully finishing their rooms.
Our lives are starting to come back together, new and improved, stronger and better than ever before. FEMA decided this wasn't a disaster. Well, maybe not to them, but I guess unless you're living in it, it's hard to fully grasp what not only us, but all of the 1,700 homes and business damaged by this flood are going through. We have been so blessed that we're within home base, here. But, what about my neighbors? How about that business down the road? Or the families in that apartment complex? There are families and businesses that haven't even begun to repair the damages left behind. They aren't as fortunate to have had a savings, or to have such helpful friends and family.
This was not something anyone seen coming...who would have expected 9.5" of rain in 5 hours? Maybe if they could just experience what it is exactly we're all going through, they'd rethink? Maybe not, I have no idea. When they came door to door, that's literally what they did. No one came in to any of our houses to see the extent of the damages. Just stood outside and looked at our personal belongings strewn across our yards. Maybe had they seen the skeleton of 4 kids bedrooms? Maybe if they'd been here when the fear of God was placed in all of us, while we wondered how far the water would come up? Maybe if they were here in that moment when reality set in, after the adrenaline of saving 4 kids, wondering if it were possible we'd end up on our roof? Maybe if some of those officials had been through what we're all going through? Maybe......
We were at least hoping FEMA would help us replace the carpet and padding, and maybe some other things, but even then, we're going to be okay. It's just going to take us a little longer than it would have. I guess maybe that's a way I can repay and thank everyone...to start helping others who aren't as fortunate. I've done my best to this point, but we've been pretty self absorbed into our own little mess, too. Maybe our governor will appeal their decision, but even still, that's no guarantee for any sort of help. Disappointing, for sure, but in the end, I have my husband and kids...safe and sound. I have my friends and family, my neighbors, and unimaginable support. We're going to be okay.
The flood. Yeah.
The evening of May 3rd, we had a pretty nasty storm. A storm that kept going. And going. And going. I am a big chicken when it comes to anything but clear weather, so sleep was not happening. By 1:30, I'd given up on trying to sleep, and instead tried to watch TV in efforts to keep my eyes away from the lightening flashing through the window. The thunder was so loud though, there was no denying what mother nature was doing outside. Severe Thunderstorm Warnings were blaring across the screen, as well as Flash Flood and Ariel Flood Warnings. I didn't think much of it, we don't flood. Ever.
Or, so I thought. By 3:30am, Amelia and Aubrey started screaming for me, and thankfully I was awake, because I could barely hear them. The lamp in their room had fallen and spooked them. I made my way to the top of the stairs, looked down, and seen water starting to come in. I told them to hang tight for a minute, I was going to grab their dad and some towels, and I would be right back. Seriously, not even a solid minute later, we had returned, and forget the towels! They weren't going to help a thing at that point. The water was already at our ankles. We knew we were in trouble at that point. Ryan went to check on the sump pump, but that wasn't our problem...the water was coming in through the door like a waterfall on each side, and was starting to come through the windows.
There was no time to panic. Ryan grabbed one of the A's, I grabbed the other, once they were safely on the stairs, he went for Gabe, I went for Saphie. By this point, the water was already at our shins, and Ryan said the power had to get turned off from the breaker box. I told him we had to grab the kids mattresses first, and get them upstairs. He thought I was crazy, and that it wasn't likely their mattresses would even get wet, but not wanting to upset me, helped me grab them, and get them upstairs. I still don't know what made me think to grab their mattresses. Looking back, in the grand scheme of things....mattresses?! LOL. I guess divine intervention, because there is just no way we could have replaced them very quickly. I remember thinking, "Oh crap...this is bad. Very, very bad. What will give the kids some sort of normalcy during this? Beds and TV's are expensive! Beds and TV's it is!" Between their mattresses and their TV's, we had gathered all we could before he HAD to shut the power off downstairs.
It took somewhere around 15 minutes for over 3.5 feet of water to turn our lives upside down, and inside out. We lost almost everything downstairs. We live in a bi-level home. When you walk in the door, you either go up, or you go down. There is no living space at the door, just a landing and stairs. There are 3 bedrooms downstairs, 4 of the kids sleeping in those bedrooms. There's also a bathroom, and a laundry/utility/craft room. Did I mention that we've been remodeling that entire area since we moved in? We had JUST finished that bathroom, we had 2 sheets of drywall in Gabe's room that NEVER seen the wall, it was intended for remodeling the hallway from hell (the wall was textured in spikes...why someone would want that is beyond me, lol). It was just complete devastation.
However, we were all okay. Thank God for the falling lamp that woke up the girls, because otherwise, things could have been so much worse. The kids could have been electrocuted, or Amelia and Gabe could have drowned. We still have that lamp, I can't let it go. I call it our 'lifesaving lamp'. I can finally look at it without bursting into tears, so I think that's a step in the right direction. I mentioned on facebook about my inability to let it go, and friend suggested turning it into a flower pot of sorts. Something with meaning, without keeping it around as a broken, and filthy lamp. That's going to be in the works once we're finished rebuilding our lives.
We have had an outpouring of love, thoughts, prayers, and even some donations! How blessed are we?! People ask me, "Well, how do you stay so positive?" I don't feel like I'm being positive, just thankful and appreciative. Besides, being negative, and woe is me isn't helping anything. Why squander peoples positive thoughts and prayers on negative thoughts on my end? Why feel so woe is me, when people are doing their best to help us with whatever they can? Don't get me wrong, I've cried, I've been upset, but those are weak moments when I look at all we've lost, instead of all we've gained.
A friend called me and said to me, "As soon as that water recedes, call me! I'm going to wash all that clothing." Another friend took the kids and kept the preoccupied with fun instead of damage control, another friend who was also a flood victim dropped off a few supplies, and a gift card to help us replace some of our lost things, Ry's friends/co-workers came over and helped us finish demolishing everything downstairs, renting a dumpster for us, and more friends helped us buy building supplies, and even helped us put some of it in. That's only part of it! Just as important were all the kind words, all the prayers, all the positive thoughts, they kept us going day after day, especially in the beginning. The outpouring of love and support has been amazing and overwhelming. I'll never be able to show my gratitude in a million years. Thank you just doesn't seem like enough, you know? We've built stronger friendships, stronger relationships with our neighbors going through the same things, and even a better home.
While tearing the house apart, we were able to discover blessings in the flood. There was a big bees nest in Gabe's wall, there were some studs that needed to be replaced throughout the 1st level, there were 2 nails driven through an electrical wire running through the studs (when Aubrey went to pull the nails out of the stud, there was a HUGE flash, and a zapping that scared us all!), things that we would have not known otherwise until it was too late. A flood? We can recover from the flood. We were blessed enough that only the 1st level of the house was affected, and we could still live in it. Things could have been so much worse! It could have been a tornado that just devastated our neighborhood, possibly taking lives. It could have been a fire caused by those nails through the wires, and we could have lost the entire house...and possibly lives. Instead, it was just 3.5 feet of water that did enough damage to shake up our lives, but not enough to destroy it. Have I mentioned yet just how blessed we feel?
Tomorrow will be 6 weeks since this happened. That's hard to believe! 6 weeks feels like so long, and so short, all at the same time. It seems like just yesterday we were wading around hip deep in water in the road, trying to help our neighbors, standing around in shock, not quite knowing how to grasp what was happening. Then again, in that amount of time, we have drywalled all 3 kids bedrooms, most of the bathroom, part of the stairwell, and we have the laundry room, and a closet to finish. We just need to finish putting up mud, sanding, and painting, and we'll be about as far as we can go for now. We were lucky enough to find huge carpet remnants for cheaper than a rug, for all of the kids bedrooms. We won't be able to afford $1500 for new carpet and padding anytime soon, but those remnants give the kids a sense of normalcy. They're all sleeping down there, and are no longer crammed into one bedroom...6 kids in 1 bedroom got the best of us all, lol. Now they have some room to stretch and call their own. They'll just shuffle around when it comes time to fully finishing their rooms.
Our lives are starting to come back together, new and improved, stronger and better than ever before. FEMA decided this wasn't a disaster. Well, maybe not to them, but I guess unless you're living in it, it's hard to fully grasp what not only us, but all of the 1,700 homes and business damaged by this flood are going through. We have been so blessed that we're within home base, here. But, what about my neighbors? How about that business down the road? Or the families in that apartment complex? There are families and businesses that haven't even begun to repair the damages left behind. They aren't as fortunate to have had a savings, or to have such helpful friends and family.
This was not something anyone seen coming...who would have expected 9.5" of rain in 5 hours? Maybe if they could just experience what it is exactly we're all going through, they'd rethink? Maybe not, I have no idea. When they came door to door, that's literally what they did. No one came in to any of our houses to see the extent of the damages. Just stood outside and looked at our personal belongings strewn across our yards. Maybe had they seen the skeleton of 4 kids bedrooms? Maybe if they'd been here when the fear of God was placed in all of us, while we wondered how far the water would come up? Maybe if they were here in that moment when reality set in, after the adrenaline of saving 4 kids, wondering if it were possible we'd end up on our roof? Maybe if some of those officials had been through what we're all going through? Maybe......
We were at least hoping FEMA would help us replace the carpet and padding, and maybe some other things, but even then, we're going to be okay. It's just going to take us a little longer than it would have. I guess maybe that's a way I can repay and thank everyone...to start helping others who aren't as fortunate. I've done my best to this point, but we've been pretty self absorbed into our own little mess, too. Maybe our governor will appeal their decision, but even still, that's no guarantee for any sort of help. Disappointing, for sure, but in the end, I have my husband and kids...safe and sound. I have my friends and family, my neighbors, and unimaginable support. We're going to be okay.
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